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Poly SwingTowns is a free adult dating site for people who are living or are interested in learning about living a non-monogamous lifestyle. So, if you're an open-minded single, couple, or polycule who would like to meet others interested in non-monogamy, polyamory, and alternative relationships , you are at the right place. Every day polyamorous singles, couples, triads and other poly tribes and families are creating genuine friendships and true love connections on SwingTowns! Join for Free Now! SwingTowns Guide to Non-Monogamy 7 Common Myths About More-Than-Two Download "Guide to Non-Monogamy" PDF by Belle Rosada So you want to be non-monogamous. Maybe you’ve read swinger stories, know swinger couples who are successfully living it, or maybe you’re brand spakin’ new - no pun intended - to the idea of non-monogamy. Whatever the case, there’s a lot of information to be found out there in the big, wide world - even more so on the world wide web - and not all of it is exactly accurate. For example, while some swinger stories highlight the benefits of non-monogamy, others tend to focus only on what can go wrong. Neither gives the whole picture and can lead to misconceptions. Whether you yourself are new to non-monogamous relationships , getting involved with someone who is new, or just ready for a refresher course, here are seven common myths about non-monogamous relationships and the facts that disprove them. Myth #1: Cheating represents a non-monogamous relationship A quick online search yields many a claim that cheating was, in fact, a type of a non-monogamous relationship. That, however, is like saying that stealing is a type of trade. While cheating does indeed exist and the people who cheat may declare themselves non- monogamous, it is not a relationship style in and of itself, but instead a clear breach of monogamy and/or non-monogamy depending on what style is being practiced by the parties involved and what agreements have been put in place. Make no mistake - just because a relationship is non-monogamous does not mean that cheating is impossible. If a couple agrees to threesomes only but one partner makes out with a stranger in a bar? That’s cheating. Four parties in a group relationship agree not to involve new partners before getting tested, but then someone does the deed prematurely? Cheating. Two swinger couples agree to swap husbands for one night, but then one half of the swap meets up again later without telling their partners? You guessed it: cheating. Non-monogamy is not something that takes place in dark corners and on password protected apps without the knowledge and consent of all parties involved. As do monogamous relationships, non-monogamous relationships require mutual trust and respect, while cheating undermines trust, respect and consent. To wit, cheating may fit the criteria of non-monogamy to the extent that there are more than two. But if everyone is not on board? — It’s not non-monogamy. It’s breach of contract. Myth #2: Non-monogamy is easier than monogamy Another idea that’s floating around out there is that non-monogamous relationships are becoming so popular in our monogamy dominated society because monogamy is this challenging thing that takes time, dedication and hard work, whereas non-monogamy is…well…easy. On the contrary, non-monogamy can be just as challenging as monogamy is, if not more so at times, as it introduces challenges into relationships that monogamous folks don’t have to grapple with quite as much. For example… Time Management For one thing, it isn’t as though non-monogamous people are suddenly granted more hours in a day, more days in the week, etc. We’re managing jobs, friends, family, pets and even kids just like the rest of the world. Except…with multiple partners. Right away that necessitates a lot more planning than monogamous folk have to worry about. A simple, “Just thought I’d swing by and surprise you for lunch,” can be a wee bit awkward if you’ve already got a lunch date with someone else. You met a great girl at a café and she told you she’s free this Thursday. Great! Except…you agreed with your primary partner that Thursday was their day to ensure your quality time. But café girl goes out of town for two weeks on Friday. Do you wait two weeks and risk the fizzle, or talk to your partner about making an exception? When there are more than two, it gets a lot more complicated. Fast. Especially in modern society where traditional dating rituals are quickly being deemed old-fashioned and uncool, and people are more inclined to just go with the flow. Such a thing is not a realistic option with multiple partners, which requires a greater level of transparency upfront and necessitates constant communication . But scheduling is not even the most intense challenge that people who chose to practice non-monogamy find themselves faced with. The biggest challenge non-monogamous folks face is rather monstrous, in fact. And green… Jealousy Some may think that if you choose to be non-monogamous, it must mean you don’t get jealous. That, or you’re in serious denial about your emotions. As it turns out, neither is the case. People who practice non-monogamy are more than aware of the existence of jealousy, and more than capable of experiencing it themselves. Rather than the absence of jealousy, non-monogamy relies on an acceptance of jealousy , with the ultimate goal of acknowledging it, unlearning it, and replacing it with compersion - a feeling of happiness in one’s self derived from the happiness of another. In other words, when my partner is out on a date and I am at home with the cat, rather than stomping around in a jealous rage or torturing myself with what-if-he-leaves-me-for-her thoughts, I would aim to acknowledge my jealous pang as a normal feeling, but remind myself that my partner loves me, that they aren’t leaving, and to be happy that they’re enjoying themselves tonight and to enjoy my alone time with the cat. Or with Netflix. Whichever. Jealousy, while it can be worked with and talked through , is a natural emotion that even those...